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Rory
Post  Post subject: Interpersonal relationships  |  Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2016 6:14 pm
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All you actually have to do is to figure out what other people need, and then give it to them:

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Then figure out what you need, and communicate that.

The difficult part is distilling complex scenarios into the relevant need categories.

Requires: (i) self-awareness (ii) assertiveness (iii) ability to resist being manipulated, or inadvertently manipulating others.

Relationships feel less intimidating when you know there is a five tier pyramid you can refer to when stuck :P

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: Interpersonal relationships  |  Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2016 4:22 pm
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but what if what people want is different from what they need - do you then give them what they need (for which they may not thank you), or what they want (and may not do them much good)?

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Interpersonal relationships  |  Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2016 5:01 pm
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It depends if giving them what they want would actually be harmful rather than neutral.

There's also the massive problem of figuring out how to give people what they need.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: Interpersonal relationships  |  Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 12:02 pm
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indeed - plus there's also the issue of being seen as a bloody do-gooder who thinks they know better than the person who does the asking

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"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." (Philip K. Dick)
"Someone is WRONG on the internet" (xkcd)


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PhDemon
Post  Post subject: Re: Interpersonal relationships  |  Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 12:12 pm

Joined: Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:44 am
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Bloody do-gooder...

https://youtu.be/aTJFwwJ7VF8?t=1m19s

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Interpersonal relationships  |  Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 2:18 pm
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Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:40 pm
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Half a denarii for me bloody life story?!?

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iNow

"[Time] is one of those concepts that is profoundly resistant to a simple definition." ~C. Sagan


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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Interpersonal relationships  |  Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2016 3:49 pm
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Nobody will mistake me for a do-gooder :D

I gave up on goodness 6 years ago.

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