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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 4:24 pm
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Can you love on command?

Matthew 22:36-40 (KJV)
36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

----------------------------------------------

Jesus should know, --- if intelligent at all, that an emotions like love cannot be commanded or demanded from people.

Whatever force was driving Jesus to put that command into our reality, be that force or God real or myth, could not have been a very intelligent force.

You recognize those you love and who return the emotion by works and deeds.

Can one be effectively ordered to love knowing that true love, as with true faith, must have deeds, works and reciprocity?

Imagine you never doing anything for those you love. They would and could not know you love them. Imagine those who profess loving you without them ever showing it by actions. You could never know that they love you.

Can you love on command a God that is not here and unable to share that love?

Can you love your neighbor without doing something for him?

Is love a one way thing or must it be returned to be real love?

Are the so called great commandments unworkable rhetoric?

You should know that I think we are basically all living those commandments in a partial and blind way, as we are collectively helping our poorer neighbors. It is the intellectual efficacy or veracity of those commands that I question.

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DL


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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:39 pm
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Of course, I would agree with you that it is impossible to love on command.

If it were possible, there would be no heartache in the world, no need for romantic comedies or Ben & Jerry's icecream ;)

I think all love is essentially altruism; either reciprocated or not.

The tragedy of unreciprocated love is that the 'true' lover is prepared to sacrifice their self entirely for somebody who does not appreciate that sacrifice, which is why it is necessary to also be self-loving, so that the balance does not go out of kilter.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:27 pm
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Rory wrote:
Of course, I would agree with you that it is impossible to love on command.

If it were possible, there would be no heartache in the world, no need for romantic comedies or Ben & Jerry's icecream ;)

I think all love is essentially altruism; either reciprocated or not.

The tragedy of unreciprocated love is that the 'true' lover is prepared to sacrifice their self entirely for somebody who does not appreciate that sacrifice, which is why it is necessary to also be self-loving, so that the balance does not go out of kilter.


I hear you.

One small reminder that if the poor soul does not know that reciprocity is not missing, it still gains the pleasure of the, --- not lie exactly, --- but perhaps mixed with delusion. Not a sin.

I do not know the word but in French we would say that he is dreaming in color.

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DL


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Macgyver1968
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:25 pm
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Yeah...you can't command someone to love anything. Love is spontaneous..and comes from the heart. You could command someone to pretend to love something...but that ain't real love. You'd have a better chance commanding the sun not to rise, or commanding the Jets not to suck this season. :)

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bunbury
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:32 pm
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It's also impossible to believe on command, which is why all religions have to brainwash their adherents.


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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 1:03 am
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^Indeed.

At best, one can fake belief so as to better survive in a pack or tribe or cult who mandates specific beliefs, but belief itself is a very organic and almost emergent phenomenon of everyday experience.

For example, I can pretend to believe that the Eiffel Tower is made of rainbow sprinkles and marshmallow fluff, but I can't force myself to ACTUALLY believe it.

Note: Mental illness, drug influence, and self-deception are obvious exceptions, but I don't think these in any way negate the broader truth of what's being discussed here.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 5:18 pm
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Accord so far.

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DL


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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 10:10 pm
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A thought experiment.

Assuming that it were hypothetically possible to artificially induce the feeling of love in another by directly stimulating the production of associated molecules (e.g. dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and sex hormones), such that the subject becomes psychlogically, emotionally and physically aroused in response to the stimulus thatcis the person doing the 'biological commandong' of love... would that still be bona fide love? How is this situation different from what happens naturally? If we are slaves to the biological programme (which we are), and if we do not ordinarily make a conscious consensual decision to fall in love with another, then really aren't we all 'commanded' to love by sophisticated, evolutionary biological programmes?

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 5:29 pm
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Rory wrote:
A thought experiment.

Assuming that it were hypothetically possible to artificially induce the feeling of love in another by directly stimulating the production of associated molecules (e.g. dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and sex hormones), such that the subject becomes psychlogically, emotionally and physically aroused in response to the stimulus thatcis the person doing the 'biological commandong' of love... would that still be bona fide love? How is this situation different from what happens naturally? If we are slaves to the biological programme (which we are), and if we do not ordinarily make a conscious consensual decision to fall in love with another, then really aren't we all 'commanded' to love by sophisticated, evolutionary biological programmes?


We are and the program is not that sophisticated. For men it is the best body to bear a child and for women it is can the dude afford me and his child. Quite simple really.

You are correct that we could not tell the difference of the induced love as compared to the natural love.

The un-natural love would get stale quickly I think.

We want real love and not some fabricated one.

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DL


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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2014 6:42 pm
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But, how would you ever be able to tell the difference between natural and artifocial love? All it would require is for sexy hormones to be replaced with pair bonding hormones after 2 years or so...

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 12:24 pm
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Rory wrote:
But, how would you ever be able to tell the difference between natural and artifocial love? All it would require is for sexy hormones to be replaced with pair bonding hormones after 2 years or so...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rXhXLsNJL8

I should need say no more.

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DL


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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:55 pm
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Gnostic Bishop wrote:
<Youtube link removed>
I should need say no more.

Well... As it turns out you do. A link to a Beatles music video doesn't address the question put to you.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 3:44 pm
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iNow wrote:
Gnostic Bishop wrote:
<Youtube link removed>
I should need say no more.

Well... As it turns out you do. A link to a Beatles music video doesn't address the question put to you.


Ok.

"All it would require is for sexy hormones to be replaced with pair bonding hormones"

Garbage.

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DL


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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 5:09 pm
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Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Garbage.

Why? What specifically do you disagree with?

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 8:37 pm
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Gnostic Bishop, how would you be able to tell the difference?

Assuming that the timing and concentrations of all relevant artificial molecules were identical to the natural experience, how would you be able to tell the difference?

I know that this scenario is not realistic, but then, it is only a thought experiment, and questions the nature of love, which is (I propose) more material than consciously consensual. As such, it has bearing on your original question, of whether it is possible to love on command - namely, no, it is not.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 9:19 pm
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Rory wrote:
Gnostic Bishop, how would you be able to tell the difference?

Assuming that the timing and concentrations of all relevant artificial molecules were identical to the natural experience, how would you be able to tell the difference?

I know that this scenario is not realistic, but then, it is only a thought experiment, and questions the nature of love, which is (I propose) more material than consciously consensual. As such, it has bearing on your original question, of whether it is possible to love on command - namely, no, it is not.


True love takes reciprocity. Both individuals would have to not only have the right chemistry, they would also need to act on what they think is love and hope the other reciprocates.

I get the right chemistry whenever I see Shania Twain but my love is not true love as it lacks reciprocity.

Love, as St. James would likely say is like faith. Without works and deeds, it is dead.

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DL


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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 12:04 am
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Perhaps you can share how you are defining love, as it seems abundantly clear to me that others seem to view it differently than you do.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:00 am
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iNow wrote:
Perhaps you can share how you are defining love, as it seems abundantly clear to me that others seem to view it differently than you do.


What others?

Seriously though, if I have to define love for you then I do not want to talk to you.

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:33 am
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The point is that there are different types of love, different versions and experiences of it, both within people and between people. The experience of love itself even differs over time between the same people.

Despite this clear spectrum of possibility, you are approaching discussion as if there is only one monolithic kind of love and we should all magically read your mind and be able to tell which type is your focus.

It's fine if you wish to focus on one specific type, but at least share with others how you define this one particular version so the discussion can move forward in a mature manner.

Telling people who ask you legitimate questions that you do not wish to talk to them suggests you lack an understanding of what a discussion forum is for. In case it's not already clear to you, the key word at play there is "discussion."

If you don't even respect yourself and your ideas enough to ensure they are accurately understood by others, why should we?

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 9:08 am
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Gnostic Bishop, I was working on a different definition of love to that which you seem to be using, i.e. that unreciprocated love is a form of love (ask any people who have experienced both types of love, and undoubtedly they will testify to the fact that both types of love are equally intense). That being said, it does not impact upon the outcome of my thought experiment too much, if we use your definition of love and instead assume that both partners were fed artificial love molecules in the appropriate concentrations at the appropriate times. How would they be able to tell the difference between natural and artificial love?

All of which, again, suggests that love has a strong material basis that precludes conscious consent of the type required in order that the commanding of love be possible.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 1:05 pm
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iNow wrote:
The point is that there are different types of love, different versions and experiences of it, both within people and between people. The experience of love itself even differs over time between the same people.

Despite this clear spectrum of possibility, you are approaching discussion as if there is only one monolithic kind of love and we should all magically read your mind and be able to tell which type is your focus.

It's fine if you wish to focus on one specific type, but at least share with others how you define this one particular version so the discussion can move forward in a mature manner.

Telling people who ask you legitimate questions that you do not wish to talk to them suggests you lack an understanding of what a discussion forum is for. In case it's not already clear to you, the key word at play there is "discussion."

If you don't even respect yourself and your ideas enough to ensure they are accurately understood by others, why should we?


I have indicated that the love I talk about is the one where reciprocity and works and deed are a component and make that love a true or real love.

What else do you need or want?

Don't get me wrong. I do not mind slashing the t and dotting the I but I am not going to talk about all the other loves that are of no interest or necessity here and are not people to people love.

Regards
DL


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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 1:11 pm
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Rory wrote:
Gnostic Bishop, I was working on a different definition of love to that which you seem to be using, i.e. that unreciprocated love is a form of love (ask any people who have experienced both types of love, and undoubtedly they will testify to the fact that both types of love are equally intense). That being said, it does not impact upon the outcome of my thought experiment too much, if we use your definition of love and instead assume that both partners were fed artificial love molecules in the appropriate concentrations at the appropriate times. How would they be able to tell the difference between natural and artificial love?

All of which, again, suggests that love has a strong material basis that precludes conscious consent of the type required in order that the commanding of love be possible.


They would be able to tell the artificial love from the real one by the reciprocity and actions of the other.

That is the difference between infatuation, the chemical love or chemical expression of love, and true love recognized by the mind.

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DL


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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 6:58 pm
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It is my contention that they would not be able to tell the difference between natural and artificial love. In the modified scenario that incorporates your given definition of love, both individuals in the partnership are doped with the appropriate biological molecules at exactly the same time, so both of them experience love for the other. That essentially negates your suggestion that they would be able to tell the difference by differences in reciprocity. Then there is your proposal that they would be able to tell the difference by differences in deeds or actions. To this I would answer that artificial love molecules would induce exactly the same kind of affectionate behaviour and altruistic acts as the natural endogenous love molecules. After all, the basis of natural love is also material.

Your reluctance to accept that unreciprocated love is equal to reciprocated love and your suggestion that it is instead a kind of infatuation seems strange to me. In the same way that not all physical intimacy involves love, so too not all love involves physical intimacy.

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 7:54 pm
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Gnostic Bishop wrote:
They would be able to tell the artificial love from the real one by the reciprocity and actions of the other.

And how would that occur given the underlying mechanism is exactly the same? Rory's point here is valid and is far more parsimonious than yours.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 8:27 pm
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Rory wrote:
It is my contention that they would not be able to tell the difference between natural and artificial love. In the modified scenario that incorporates your given definition of love, both individuals in the partnership are doped with the appropriate biological molecules at exactly the same time, so both of them experience love for the other. That essentially negates your suggestion that they would be able to tell the difference by differences in reciprocity. Then there is your proposal that they would be able to tell the difference by differences in deeds or actions. To this I would answer that artificial love molecules would induce exactly the same kind of affectionate behaviour and altruistic acts as the natural endogenous love molecules. After all, the basis of natural love is also material.

Your reluctance to accept that unreciprocated love is equal to reciprocated love and your suggestion that it is instead a kind of infatuation seems strange to me. In the same way that not all physical intimacy involves love, so too not all love involves physical intimacy.


That is because two doped up people with chemically induced feelings of love are feeling the chemistry without doing the work that love entails to be true love.

Sociologists have shown that the more a person sacrifices for something, the more he will desire it.

Desire is a part of love and our two doped up people have not sacrificed anything to their relationship and it would not last long because it did not cost anyone anything.

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DL


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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 8:30 pm
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iNow wrote:
Gnostic Bishop wrote:
They would be able to tell the artificial love from the real one by the reciprocity and actions of the other.

And how would that occur given the underlying mechanism is exactly the same? Rory's point here is valid and is far more parsimonious than yours.


It is not the same for that same reason. Please read what I just gave him.

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 10:19 pm
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Your personal opinion is meaningless in this context. The science shows the underlying chemistry to be equivalent and indistinguishable. You can disagree until you're blue in the face. It won't change this simple fact.

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 1:02 pm
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Quote:
That is because two doped up people with chemically induced feelings of love are feeling the chemistry without doing the work that love entails to be true love.

Sociologists have shown that the more a person sacrifices for something, the more he will desire it.

Desire is a part of love and our two doped up people have not sacrificed anything to their relationship and it would not last long because it did not cost anyone anything.


This is an interesting point, and I remember having read that the more a person invests in something, the more they are likely to value that thing. However, love generally does not automatically follow from having invested in or made sacrifices for somebody else - if this were the basis of the initiation of love, then Doctors would fall in love with their patients, and check-out staff would fall in love with their customers, and bus-drivers with their passengers. The point is, that making a sacrifice is not in itself the initiating factor in love, some sacrifices are made out of a sense of duty or necessity. One of the key initiating factors in love is an initial physical attraction, and that could be quite easily mimicked by providing the appropriate pheromones and sex hormones. Then, once initial physical attraction has occurred, each participant may feel the desire to make sacrifices for the other, so increasing their chance of securing the other as a mate. You may argue that sexual love is self-sacrificing, but I would argue that it is only self-sacrificing insofar as it serves the greater self-interest of reproduction.

There surely are purer forms of love, by which I mean love that is not ultimately self-interested, such as platonic love between friends.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:31 pm
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iNow wrote:
Your personal opinion is meaningless in this context. The science shows the underlying chemistry to be equivalent and indistinguishable. You can disagree until you're blue in the face. It won't change this simple fact.


I agree that the physical manifestations could be replicated but that is still not true love unless you think you need not show the one you love anything that looks like loving actions.

If you were one of the participants in that chemistry experiment, how would anyone know who you are loving?

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DL


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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:38 pm
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Rory wrote:
Quote:
That is because two doped up people with chemically induced feelings of love are feeling the chemistry without doing the work that love entails to be true love.

Sociologists have shown that the more a person sacrifices for something, the more he will desire it.

Desire is a part of love and our two doped up people have not sacrificed anything to their relationship and it would not last long because it did not cost anyone anything.


This is an interesting point, and I remember having read that the more a person invests in something, the more they are likely to value that thing. However, love generally does not automatically follow from having invested in or made sacrifices for somebody else - if this were the basis of the initiation of love, then Doctors would fall in love with their patients, and check-out staff would fall in love with their customers, and bus-drivers with their passengers. The point is, that making a sacrifice is not in itself the initiating factor in love, some sacrifices are made out of a sense of duty or necessity. One of the key initiating factors in love is an initial physical attraction, and that could be quite easily mimicked by providing the appropriate pheromones and sex hormones. Then, once initial physical attraction has occurred, each participant may feel the desire to make sacrifices for the other, so increasing their chance of securing the other as a mate. You may argue that sexual love is self-sacrificing, but I would argue that it is only self-sacrificing insofar as it serves the greater self-interest of reproduction.

There surely are purer forms of love, by which I mean love that is not ultimately self-interested, such as platonic love between friends.


No argument with most of this but how do you not see a platonic relationship as not self-serving? The accumulation of friends is done purely for the self-serving natures of both participants. We do what is profitable for life. We do not do what hurts us generally speaking.

When you seek friends is it to serve them or to serve yourself?

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DL


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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Sun Oct 26, 2014 3:00 pm
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When you seek friends is it to serve them or to serve yourself?


Both - it's the only way for a friendship to be sustainable.

Okay, so even platonic friendships are not free of self-interest, but that self-interest is a lot less selfish and short-sighted than sexual love, in my opinion. Sexual love is predicated on an unconscious drive to propagate one's own genes - platonic friendship is predicated on a mutual desire to share company and intellectual + emotional intimacy. Marriages that have child-bearing as one of their objectives are a compromise between choosing a partner who is intellectually engaging and who will confer physical advantages on the offspring; platonic friendship is not compromised by physical concerns.

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GiantEvil
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:00 am
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I could love someone on command. But only if they were someone I could love, and only if I feel like it.

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 12:25 pm
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Giant Evil
I could love someone on command. But only if they were someone I could love, and only if I feel like it.


Well, yes, it might coincide that the person doing the commanding is a person one is capable of loving - but the commanding would not be the causal factor.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 3:34 pm
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Rory wrote:
Quote:
When you seek friends is it to serve them or to serve yourself?


Both - it's the only way for a friendship to be sustainable.

Okay, so even platonic friendships are not free of self-interest, but that self-interest is a lot less selfish and short-sighted than sexual love, in my opinion. Sexual love is predicated on an unconscious drive to propagate one's own genes - platonic friendship is predicated on a mutual desire to share company and intellectual + emotional intimacy. Marriages that have child-bearing as one of their objectives are a compromise between choosing a partner who is intellectually engaging and who will confer physical advantages on the offspring; platonic friendship is not compromised by physical concerns.


I agree that reciprocity is required but my point stands that we try to initiate friendships for self serving reasons driven by our selfish gene and not some altruistic drive.

A body must first live to be able to do any loving at all and that means our selfish gene will lead us.

I agree with all of your last chapter.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 3:36 pm
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GiantEvil wrote:
I could love someone on command. But only if they were someone I could love, and only if I feel like it.


Would it be true love if the recipient of your love did not return that love?

Can love be true love if it only goes one way?

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DL


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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 4:36 pm
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Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Can love be true love if it only goes one way?


yes it can - it's called unrequited love, and is the source of many a heartache

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 4:56 pm
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marnixR wrote:
Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Can love be true love if it only goes one way?


yes it can - it's called unrequited love, and is the source of many a heartache


Unrequited love is true love to your thinking is it?

Love not returned, to me, is not love at all.

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DL


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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:01 pm
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And you're welcome to your opinion, so long as you avoid presenting it as objective fact.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 8:10 pm
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iNow wrote:
And you're welcome to your opinion, so long as you avoid presenting it as objective fact.


Love is subjective, not objective.

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DL


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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 8:11 pm
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Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Unrequited love is true love to your thinking is it?

Love not returned, to me, is not love at all.


if it wasn't true love, it wouldn't hurt so much when it's not returned

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 8:31 pm
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marnixR wrote:
Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Unrequited love is true love to your thinking is it?

Love not returned, to me, is not love at all.


if it wasn't true love, it wouldn't hurt so much when it's not returned


If a stalker is hurt, it is because he does not know what true love is.

Infatuation hurts. True love cannot.

Once locked in, true love does not end. Reciprocity locks it in.

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DL


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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 8:47 pm
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Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Infatuation hurts. True love cannot.


i smell a "true scotsman" fallacy

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 11:57 pm
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Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Love is subjective, not objective.

I agree, but that simple fact argues much more against your position and assertions in this thread than mine.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 7:33 pm
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iNow wrote:
Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Love is subjective, not objective.

I agree, but that simple fact argues much more against your position and assertions in this thread than mine.


I do not agree.

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DL


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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 7:34 pm
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marnixR wrote:
Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Infatuation hurts. True love cannot.


i smell a "true scotsman" fallacy


Smelling it is not showing it.

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DL


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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 8:51 pm
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If you wish to define 'true love' as 'that loved which is reciprocated' then that is fine but don't expect the rest of the world to define it as such and don't expect your personal definition to have any impact upon the feelings of those experiencing unrequited love. Your approach is analogous to redefining 'fishing' as 'the activity of fishing that involves catching a fish'. This narrow definition ignores the meaning derived by many who hapoen to go fishing without successfully catching fish; watching the sunrise/sunset, appreciating the environment and observing the wildlife; engaging in conversation with fellow fishing enthusiasts; feeling the desire and anticipation of a catch. This analogy ultimately breaks because the dismay of failing in love is altogether more severe than the dismay of failing in a recreational pursuit. But, just because the truth hurts, does not make it less true.

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Gnostic Bishop
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 12:06 pm
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Rory wrote:
If you wish to define 'true love' as 'that loved which is reciprocated' then that is fine but don't expect the rest of the world to define it as such and don't expect your personal definition to have any impact upon the feelings of those experiencing unrequited love. Your approach is analogous to redefining 'fishing' as 'the activity of fishing that involves catching a fish'. This narrow definition ignores the meaning derived by many who hapoen to go fishing without successfully catching fish; watching the sunrise/sunset, appreciating the environment and observing the wildlife; engaging in conversation with fellow fishing enthusiasts; feeling the desire and anticipation of a catch. This analogy ultimately breaks because the dismay of failing in love is altogether more severe than the dismay of failing in a recreational pursuit. But, just because the truth hurts, does not make it less true.


Only a fool thinks he can create true love by himself.

Regards
DL


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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:54 pm
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Quote:
Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Only a fool thinks he can create true love by himself.


'Fool' isn't the word I would use :lol:

Of course, it is unfortunate that sometimes love goes unrequited, and so there is not that opportunity for personal growth and for the flourishing of a relationship. But that does not mean to say that the feelings that the one has for the other, are not real, are not love.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 5:29 pm
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Gnostic Bishop wrote:
Only a fool thinks he can create true love by himself.


it's not an unknown phenomenon : i know plenty of songs that celebrate the combination of fool and love, and having been head over heels in love with someone, i know i often was a fool then, independent of whether the love was reciprocated or not

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: Can you love on command?  |  Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2014 2:47 am
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[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=lC2Fu20X_KY[/youtube]

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