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marnixR
Post  Post subject: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 8:03 pm
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this is an attempt to recreate a thread that used to exist on the now defunct Philosophorum, which attempted to find the various inventive (and funny) ways that people have a go others

my favourite is the following one :

"were you born stupid, or did you have to follow evening classes to become this stupid ?"

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 11:00 pm
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I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 11:07 pm
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I've been trying to see things from your point of view, but I cannot get my head that far up my ass.

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 11:09 pm
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I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

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GiantEvil
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 3:34 am
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Umm.... Well.... Nevermind.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 9:49 am
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the most succinct putdown has to be heard and just consists of the word "really ?" with a tone of utter disbelief in your voice, and then for emphasis repeat it

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 4:55 pm
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I wonder if you could possibly state that again, but maybe this time try doing it in English.


Do you have to actively TRY being this ignorant, or does it just come naturally to you?

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GiantEvil
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 7:06 pm
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Did your parents have any children that lived?

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 8:35 pm
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obviously, in scientific discourse the worst putdown must surely be : "you're not even wrong"

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 8:43 pm
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which reminds me of the cartoon in the Wizard of Id where a drunk at the bar says "what you shay there makesh a lot of shenshe to me", to which the reply is "in that case, let me rephrase"

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 7:32 am
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clearly you're spoilt for choice if you trawl Dilbert for putdowns

Image

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2013 5:32 pm
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I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 7:21 am
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once we were in the car on a road that was in a pretty bad state, my mum moaned about, to which my dad replied "don't blame me, i didn't make the road"
quick as a flash my brother's reply was "a good thing too, because then it would have been in a truly horrendous state"

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GiantEvil
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:23 pm
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You're a republican, aren't you?

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:38 pm
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Sorry, I don't speak moron. Perhaps you could try using google translate for us next time?

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:16 am
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Is it possible that you ate a brain tumor for breakfast this morning?

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Nov 29, 2013 4:57 pm
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It's okay if you disagree with me. I can't force you to be right.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 3:08 pm
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real life putdown by Ophiolite (he's pretty good at that sort of thing) :

"If you do not wish to be told you are acting like a mental retard, then stop acting like a mental retard. "

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 11:38 am
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"my friends call me Jack - you can call me John"

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Olinguito
Post  Post subject: Re: Search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 12:31 pm
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“I don’t believe in the existence of hell. If you do, you can prove it by going there.”

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 8:32 am
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over the weekend i was sitting on the tube next to a woman who had a speech defect : every 3 to 4 minutes she had to stop talking to take a breath

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:26 pm
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I'm trying to see things from your perspective, but I'm not batshit crazy so really can't.

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jimmydasaint
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:39 am
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Why don't you go back into a corner of your living room and continue evolving - you're not finished yet.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu May 08, 2014 6:50 pm
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"it's nothing personal, but i hate you"

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:14 am
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"don't give up your day job"

followed by

"oh, this IS your day job ?"

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jgoti
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 11:10 am
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I can explain it but I can't understand it for you.


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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:47 pm
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from the Arctic Monkey's "Teddy picker"

"Who'd want to be men of the people when there's people like you?"

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 4:36 am
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The truth may hurt your feelings, but that doesn't make it any less true.

Or, said another way... Science doesn't give a shit what your opinion is.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2014 5:53 am
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my friends call me Jack, but you can call me Paul

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 12:06 am
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The universal fallibility of all of your insults is that they only work if the recipient cares about your opinion of their self; if they are your enemy, they are not likely to care what you think.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:14 am
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everyone surely wants to feel that they are deserving of some respect, or at least be acknowledged as being sufficiently important to be worthy of notice

some of the insults imply that they are nothing - surely not a pleasant thought, even for an enemy

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 10:28 am
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Respect from an enemy is the ultimate putdown imo because if you fundamentally disagree with that person's thought processes then any degree of respect from that person means that, in your own opinion, you must be worthy of disrespect.

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 12:17 pm
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I'd like to agree with you, but I apparently stopped eating paste long before you did so it's really going to be tough for me to do so.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sun Oct 26, 2014 9:56 pm
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real-life exchange in the office :

me (after the display of a senior moment) : i'm getting old

the reply : what do you mean ? you ARE old !!!

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Falconer360
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sun Oct 26, 2014 10:23 pm
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"If I had the choice between a venereal disease and having to spend time with you, I would be at a clinic being checked out right now."

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 6:42 pm
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a rather high-brow putdown from Niels Bohr : "You're not thinking, you're just being logical"

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 9:06 pm
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Oh don't make me cry marnix :lol:

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 3:03 am
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You are the human equivalent of gas station sushi.

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Falconer360
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:37 pm
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Until I met you I thought I knew what the lowest brain power a person could have and not be comatose looked like... I was sadly mistaken.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:54 pm
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i've always liked this one

Image

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Falconer360
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 10:34 pm
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"You have so much mass that if I were to throw an apple at you, it would take up orbiting you." - I guess if this was said to a body builder it would be a compliment though.

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2015 4:25 am
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They'd likely miss the gravity reference. While exercise makes us smarter in relative terms, those who do it obsessively tend to do so at the expense of study and mental enrichment.

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Falconer360
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 4:30 pm
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Your mother and father only met once, and money changed hands during that encounter.

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Snafuperman
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2015 3:29 pm

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An ambiguous put-down for a goodbye speech, from Bilbo in Lord of the Rings:

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."


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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:01 pm
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Huxley, on hearing about the death of Samuel Wilberforce after he had fallen off his horse : "For once reality and his brains came into contact and the result was fatal."

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 2:50 pm
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don't give up your day job - oh, this IS your day job ?

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 11:04 pm
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Only works on people who define their self-worth in terms of their capacity to serve others

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 5:35 am
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You're clearly unmolested by enlightenment.

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Daecon
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 5:00 am
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Your test results came back: "You are a horrible person."

How odd, we weren't even testing for that.


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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:30 am
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I'd have better luck picking up a turd by the clean end than engaging in an intelligible conversation with you.

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