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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 12:56 am
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Seriously, you have the temperament of a vial of nitroglycerin.

(props Falconer360!)

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2016 2:09 am
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You're more useless than a bag of dicks without a handle.

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PhDemon
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2016 9:04 am

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I used to work with a very forthright young lady who had very little patience for stupid (even less than me!)...

She would often say things like:

"You're actually a bit of a dick aren't you?"

"You are boring me - go away!"

"If you can't say anything sensible STFU!"

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PhDemon
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2016 9:09 am

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Some good ones here!

http://metro.co.uk/2015/06/15/blackadde ... s-5238559/

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PhDemon
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2016 10:29 am

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You're ten pounds of douche in a five pound bag...

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Falconer360
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 4:55 pm
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Whenever I'm feeling defeated and down I just remember that someone as stupid as yourself has somehow managed to not only figure out a computer enough to get online, you've also learned how to type. If a moron like you can accomplish that, then I can easily tackle any obstacles in my way. :lol:

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geordief
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2016 11:40 am

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Any good put down has to have the target walk into a trap of their own making .

I like Churchill's reply to Lady Astor (?)

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ho ... 78622.html

That sort of thing. With Churchill I wonder if he intended it to be funny -or even hyperbole. He was no saint.

Maybe she got under his skin.


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janus
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2016 4:37 pm

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You are the Mr. Magoo of visionaries.


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geordief
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2016 7:51 pm

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And you ,sir are the Colonel Blimp of hot air balloon expeditions :)


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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 1:51 am
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If we drew your family tree, that s$#t would be a straight line.

Courtesy of Stowaway:


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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2016 7:26 pm
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whenever someone says "I'm not as stupid as I look !", agree with them
you could also add for completeness "no one could possibly be as stupid as you look", just in case the insult hadn't hit the mark

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2016 7:55 pm
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Don't talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street. Sherlock

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:09 am
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reminds me of the saying "better keep quiet and let people suspect that you're stupid, rather than open your mouth and confirm their suspicion"

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:20 am
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I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. Sherlock

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Dywyddyr
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2016 6:20 pm
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An old one from Blakes (no apostrophe!) 7.

Avon (the supercilious smart one) explains something technical to Vila (the not really smart one) and...
Vila: Pardon?
Avon: Oh, I'm sorry! I hadn't realised that you were deaf as well as stupid.


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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 8:52 pm
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a good one from Victor Meldrew in "One foot in the grave" :

"Letting the pages of the Sun pass in front of your eyes does not amount to reading !"

(for those not familiar with British newspapers, the Sun is a lowbrow tabloid)

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2016 1:09 am
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Wow...I've had diarrheas better formed than that idea/argument

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PhDemon
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 8:47 pm

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This one is harsh (even for me :lol:)

You are obviously one of life's losers... My advice is become a Buddhist, kill yourself and try again...

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astromark2014
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 8:23 am
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I once overheard " You have evolved to a new level of stupid. That's amazing."

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Attempting tolerance and understanding as best I can. Always seeking more.


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One beer
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 7:39 am
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I was once told of this old RAF put down:

"Flying cadet xxx sets himself very low standards, which he consistently fails to achieve"

OB


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One beer
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 7:49 am
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I don't recall who said this one: Possibly Churchill again, or urban myth:

"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your wine"

"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it"

OB


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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 8:10 am
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it's been a bit quiet n this front - to make up for lost time, here's a whole list

Image

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Falconer360
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 5:03 pm
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Some of those were just great. "You're as useless as a knitted condom" love it :lol:

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 5:45 pm
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I think that would be ouchies :P

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PhDemon
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 5:54 pm

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One of my grandfather's:

You're as much use as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.

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geordief
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:06 pm

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PhDemon wrote:
One of my grandfather's:

You're as much use as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.


If the opponent was Trump the rules might with advantage be modified .


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Zinjanthropos
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:27 pm
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You're so ugly that you look like someone started a fire on your face and put it out with a shovel.

What's wrong with your face, you come 2nd in a blowtorch fight?

Beauty is skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.

You take a fall from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down?

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wireless
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:50 pm

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geordief wrote:
PhDemon wrote:
One of my grandfather's:

You're as much use as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.


If the opponent was Trump the rules might with advantage be modified .


If the opponent was Clinton the rules might with advantage be modified .


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wireless
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:55 pm

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One from my biology teacher when at school, " You are a specimen of inanimate humanity. "


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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 7:31 pm
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is that a clever way of saying "you're a piece of shit" ?

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PhDemon
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 7:52 pm

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One of our maths lecturers, when we weren't appreciating the finer points of partial differential equations was fond of saying "what's wrong? You don't look stupid." With her German accent it just sounded harsher...

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wireless
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 7:16 pm

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marnixR wrote:
is that a clever way of saying "you're a piece of shit" ?

Not really, no. It is a clever way of saying that you are an " effing anchor "


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GiantEvil
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 1:44 am
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Well, bless your heart, and your face.

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:33 pm
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not advising that you make a habit of going and insulting just anyone of small stature, but the repartee from MP Simon Burns after he had reversed his car in the one of Speaker of the House John Bercow, and the latter proclaimed "I'm not happy!", is far too funny not to repeat

"So which one [of the seven dwarves] are you then ?"

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2016 2:32 am
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You've just earned two medals. One for being a dumbass and another one in case you lose the first one

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2016 9:43 pm
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not sure whether this has come up before, but this is the motto of the National Sarcasm Society :

"Like we need your support"

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Rory
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2016 10:56 pm
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Like that's funny :P

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 8:20 pm
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"What exactly is on your mind - if you'll excuse the exaggeration?" - Inquiry by David Letterman

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PhDemon
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 9:00 pm

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Jimmy Carr slapping a heckler down:

"If you want my comeback you'll have to scrape it off your mum's teeth." :lol:

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One beer
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:14 pm
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Quote:
One of my grandfather's:

You're as much use as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.



Always a hilarious image. Although a suitably agile one legged man could indeed arse kick his opponent.

OB


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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:16 pm
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wasn't there a scene towards the end of the first karate kid movie where the goodie has one useless leg and still manages to kick the shit out of the baddie ?

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 11:16 pm
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Crane kick. Danny Larouso. Against Johnny from the Cobra-kai dojo. Focus, Daniel-san

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DrKrettin
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:03 am
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The old ones are the best. From Casablanca:

You despise me don't you?

If I gave you any thought, I probably would.


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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 3:05 am
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I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed

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iNow

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marnixR
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 6:21 pm
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John Oliver: “Does that mean that there is a universe out there where I am smarter than you?”
Stephen Hawking: “Yes, and also a universe where you’re funny.”

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iNow
Post  Post subject: Re: search for the ultimate putdown  |  Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 2:59 am
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You're about as useful as a grave robber in a crematorium or an ashtray on a moving motorbike.

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"[Time] is one of those concepts that is profoundly resistant to a simple definition." ~C. Sagan


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